Have you ever had a pastor or ministry worker quit without warning? Have you ever quit from a ministry position without warning? Michael Spencer writes about the tempation to quit, and the importance of quitting only for the right reasons and in an ethical manner. In particular, he warns against quitting in revenge—using your abrupt departure from a church/ministry position as a way of striking back at those who have offended or wronged you.
An interesting topic—I’ve read many essays and posts about the stresses of ministry and the challenge of knowing when to stay and when to go; but I’ve not seen anyone address the “quitting as revenge” concept. I suspect it’s not an uncommon reason that stressed-out pastors and overworked ministry staff are sometimes tempted to quit and walk out the door.
Anyone have personal experience with this?
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January 10, 2008 at 18:56
It happens in the secular world too. We had an employee quit as a way of demonstrating that she was very valuable. She was maliciously un-helpful in the transition and enjoyed seeing us scramble to fill the gap. Oi Vey.
Isn’t it nice that our King modeled servanthood!
January 10, 2008 at 19:19
Quitting out of frustration is how i would have labelled leaving the music ministry. When my methodist church decided to add services on Saturday nights, i shared with them that it was difficult to commit to that as my family was young (son 3yrs) and wife was expecting. The ministry leader said, no. Find a replacement amongst yourselves.
So i left. Out of revenge? Maybe a little (“see how they’ll get along without me!”)... yeah… i felt bad… i loved my ministry… i felt that this was one area that God ministered to me and my family… but if i had to compromise weekend time when there was already so little…?
All i can say is that i chose Family over ministry.
January 11, 2008 at 10:26
I have been on the other side of this one. I have had people drop out of being a part of the ministry I lead with little or no explanation. It is hard because I go through many emotions wondering if I have done something to hurt or offend them. Some have been close friends of mine. I understand needing a break and taking some time off but when I see people who are gifted by God to do this ministry and then they quit it doesn’t make sense.
I fear that too many times the focus becomes me and my needs for both sides. When is it healthy to pursue the real issue and when is is better to let it go? As a leader if I am more concerned about the feelings of everyone in my ministry I lose sight of whom I am serving. It can not be about us! God must remain the central focus. Sticking it out for the long haul in ministry is not easy. It is difficult!
If there are fundamental differences in the way we see how the ministry should be done, then maybe that is an impass and we need to move on, but doing so abruptly does not help anyone. I do think that “revenge” seems a little strong, I agree with Sheldon that furstration would be a more accurate view. Serving is a sacrifice and with it comes times you have to make tough choices. It is my job as a leader in ministry not to over burden my people. It is also my job to push them to understand at times it is a sacrifice and it is not about you and your needs or me and my needs.
I would like to encourage people by saying, please do not forget that your leaders are human too. We struggle with the same issues you do and sometimes we are going to be unreasonable and demanding. Don’t just quit on us. Communciate with us. Don’t abandon the gift God has given you, in that case no one wins.
January 11, 2008 at 16:49
I’ve never up and quit a ministry. (I have been asked to leave one before but that’s a different story!) I’ve always given notice. Even then, one church just couldn’t believe I would leave even after burning me as they did, even after I hung around so that the new youth pastor could settle in, even after I gave them a drop-dead date, I heard no end of “he just up and left us high and dry. Now who’s gonna do Jr. High!?”
The IMonk always has an interesting way of looking at things. His open and honest way of taking on a subject is one of the things I’ve always appreciated about him.
Eric
January 12, 2008 at 20:54
I worked for a Christian ministry for almost 10 years; 4 years as a volunteer, the other 6 as paid staff. A couple of years after I became paid staff, things that bothered me about the ministry as a volunteer became even more obvious, but I didn’t feel right in quitting.
Many of the other staff left; they had been there much longer than I and were personally more vested. I believe the Lord called me to stay to see if the ministry could be rebuilt. For 3 or 4 years, I asked myself if it was the right time to quit; not out of spite, but because I was approaching the place I could no longer support the founder.
I believe in God’s timing, because 4 months after I realized “the end was near” for me, the founder terminated the employment of 3 of us who were the main leaders of the ministry.
In God’s economy, when it’s time for people to part ways, I believe he makes it clear. Though it’s tempting to do so out of anger or spite or hurt, (all of which I felt many times)that is usually not right.
Reality is that God’s work will be done regardless. His kingdom will go forward. We are just the laborers in his vineyard, and if I can keep that perspective, I hold onto positions loosely, and as a leader, I hold onto people loosely.
January 13, 2008 at 00:01
I’ve been in business and ministry for over thirty years. Often, when I wish to “up and quit” I remember my promise, I’d let the Lord guide me—“so I’d think on it.”. It’s easy to feel like giving up, when you see the perfectly dressed and coifed pew sitters socializing and critizing others, with a wink and a know-it-all smile! We invited many like that from our own church, to do some outreaches (that were dirty, grimy, hard-to-reach people at missions) but they were “no shows”. Surprise!
Jesus gave me peace from my fault finding! Understanding his sacrifice to set me free, was all I needed to follow! Only some will hear His voice, use their gifts, follow his path, and bless others. When we realize what we do in all parts of our lives— is to glorify Him, we’re blessed to have been chosen. Then we can peacefully move forward without ‘wanting to leave it all behind”. Learning to Lean On Jesus is the next lesson in being set-free! And a side note about His justice—He’ll either change things for You, or He’ll remove you, to a better church! Blessings on all of your lives.
January 14, 2008 at 10:51
I am currently in the situation Angela described above. I am in a ministry that is headed south, and I don’t agree with most of the decisions that are being made. I have worked here for quite a while, and have earned the trust and respect of the people I work with and for. I cannot just quit out of revenge.
However, in the past year, as I try to work with the founders of the ministry, and have gently voiced my concerns, they have been getting more and more resistant. I think I am about to get fired out of revenge. I hate to boast, but if they fire me, the ministry will probably crumble, since right now, I am the only one in the office who knows how to do everything.
I have enough respect for the mission of the ministry to fully train someone else if they would hire someone, but I think the founder just wants to get rid of me, even if his ministry falls down around his ears. It’s very strange.